Please help me with some Relationship Advice?

I apologise if this gets long winded and hope that you will bare with me.





In short I have had alot of heart-ache in the past with partners cheating on me, beating me etc which has made me put up protection barriers that i constantly fight to try and get rid of but am unable to.





I am in my early twenties and have been with my partner for over 4 years. We have two children together and have lived together for nearly 2 years and I love him with all my heart, I think about him every minute we are apart.


I have a constant fear that he is going to find someone else, maybe I just have low self-esteem or confidence, I just can't work it out.


As i write this the thought of losing him makes me want to cry. Throughout the whole of our relationship I have never been able to tell him that I love him first. I always respond when he tells me first by saying ';I love you too';. I don't know what stops me from saying it first.


For some reason I find it near impossible to tell him how i feel and no matter how much i want to i just can't get the words out. Deep down i know that he would tell me that he loved me too but i just cant say it first.





I am scared that these persistant barriers are going to ruin what we have but i just can't break through them.


Can anyone give me any advice on what I can do?





Thank you for taking the time to read my question, and thank you in advance for your advice.


Please help me with some Relationship Advice?
It would seem your problems run deep and come from long term.





The best advice would be to seek counseling to help come to terms with your past and your present.Please help me with some Relationship Advice?
Your love is best 'shown' with kind words, thoughtful gestures and by being attentive; like listening openly to what your partner is saying without assuming you know what they are going to say.Those three words can sound so machanical and automatic. Love is a verb (a doing word - not a saying word) ;)
I think if you really want to work on these things...you should start by 1st talking to your bf then 2nd talk to a therapist...they will help you get to the root of it. Practice looking at a picture and saying i love you to him, then the next time you see him just look at him and say it. All you can do is continue to try. The best advice i have for you though is to speak with a therapist if you think its going to start affecting your relationship. Think of it this way, do you really want your kids to grow up feeling that way? Show them how strong and confident you are. Good luck hun!