I was trying to get ya'lls opinion on something I am going through right now. Anything you say helps, I wont take it as an offense.
My boyfriend and I have been dating for the past 4 1/2 years, I am his first real girlfriend and he's my first serious relationship. We meet in college and from there I was able to graduate and due to some financial problems he is two credits short from doing so. Therefore, he decided to join the air force (something I was opposed to when he initially told me, but the more I thought about it the more I supported his decision). He did basic training and I went to grad school, the whole time we wrote back and forth and he called me as much as his TI's allowed him too. When I first saw him at his basic training graduation, I was afraid that he would no longer be the person I knew but to my surprise he was the same sweet guy i knew! Right after graduation he was sent to Biloxi, MS for his tech school training, where he has been there for about two weeks now. I think I screwed up by calling him (since he was finally given his cell phone back) a bit too much and I accept blame for being a bit overbearing with that, but I was excited that he finally had a way to communicate with me yet being a bit selfish I did not take into account that it was his first week there and he probably had no time to do anything but what his instructers were telling him to do. This particular morning his cell phone was not locked and somehow called me twice, all I heard was him in a relaxed manner talkng to a female. I hung the phone the first time, the second time I listened in for like 2 minutes and I did not hear them talk about anything that would indicate flirting. But it frustrated me that he sounded relaxed and into this conversation with this female, yet did not have two seconds to text me ';good morning'; that I tried calling him back to see if everything was ok, yet each time he would just press ignore on his phone. I texted him asking if he was ok, yet he never replied, until the girl he was talking to did and from his phone! Like I said, I understand I was annoying and I would probably not want to talk to me for a while either but was it right for him to have a girl send me a text saying ';leave him alone';? Should he have been man enough to text it or call me himself? Yet he still would not talk to me at all, until a day ago that he called, but he sounded mad and monotone. When I told him ';i love you'; as we usually end our conversations he declined to say it back. He just said ';I just need you to relax';. I asked him where do I stand in the relationship, if one even exists to which he stated that he always has feelings for me. So I'm more confused. I mean we have 4 1/2 yrs of dating, living together, knowing a lot about each other, etc, was it wrong of him to let a fellow female trainee take his phone and text me three times to say leave him alone? My parents said that was pretty unmanly of him and move on, my friends say the same thing. I see their point, because coming from the guy who has told me he will marry me soon, has me wondering if I want to spend the rest of my life miserable wondering if today will be the day he will hate me for something I did. From my perscpective, I believe that he has now come to the realization that there are other people out there to see, he has grown tired of me, and that he probably needs to dump me. Now that he is in the air force and most of his friends are single, and he is in a casino city, I think he wants his freedom and the ';single life'; without having to worry what I would think of his actions (which I do not care what he does as long as he doesnt cheat or go bankrupt and he knows that). I hate to give up this relationship because I have strong feelings for him and everything seems to remind me of him, but the more I think about it the more it seems to be a lost cause. What would you do? Move on? Try to work it out? Forget the incident and hope next time he calls he isnt upset anymore? Thanks!Can anyone give me some relationship advice? Please!?
Don't get ONE-itis. You are so insecure, I know that just because you haven't already left. Start to love yourself and demand more. Read ';The Game'; by Neil Strauss, then go have some fun and play it. This guy will be a funny memory one day about your insecure days.
Here's hoping you grow out of him!Can anyone give me some relationship advice? Please!?
did you ask him why did he allow another person to use his phone without permission? it seems to me he is rather irritated with you right now. give your relationship sometime since you really love him, about 1 month to see if he treats you better and do not call him at all. let him be the one who misses you and call you.
at the same time, be open and see if you meet someone new. he doesn't seem to be that committed to you.
move on !! you don't need a guy that is going to do that but if its meant to be it'll happen but don't worry move on. =)
get over him. he obviously had something going on with that other woman and wants to move on but just doesn't know how to tell u. its best your move on now before you two get any deeper.
Hi. That is a rough situation you have there.
For what it is worth, I would suggest that you Move on. He is in a situation which will be bringing about huge changes in him. There is always the chance that once he gets himself settled, that he will come back to you, but he is growing right now, and probably sees you as ';past'; or confining.
I am sorry to write this, cause I know you are probably wanting someone to tell you that everything is alright.
If this is destined to be, then someday he will come back on his own...
Good luck to you.
Friday, April 30, 2010
How come the people who have never been in relationships have the best advice on relationships?
It seems like all of my friends who have never been in relationships have the best advice on relationships unlike my friends who have had lots of boyfriends and a lot more experience How come the people who have never been in relationships have the best advice on relationships?
How can they have the best advice if they have never been in a relationship? They don't know anything about relationships except for what they see around them and on TV. Sorry, but I wouldn't go to a marriage counselor who has been divorced and barely on her second marriage nor would I listen to someone who hasn't even had one boyfriend that has lasted over five months. How come the people who have never been in relationships have the best advice on relationships?
because the still have the right ideals and standards,they havent had the chance to be sweet talked into stuff and so on. and haven't been confused by all the men that they met that have said and done different things .
i would say because instead of being in the relationships they are observing others and their relationships and they learn that way.
they learn what to do and not to do just by hearing what situations other couples are going through.
many people learn better by observing rather then experiencing. :)
Is easier to give advise than actually do things.. Like an old say '; easier say than done.'; when we are in the problem we dont see things the way the third person sees it.. Is always like that it doesn't matter how experience's you are.
Easy. They don't have the emotional involvement so they can look at it objectively.
they dont :Sacne
How can they have the best advice if they have never been in a relationship? They don't know anything about relationships except for what they see around them and on TV. Sorry, but I wouldn't go to a marriage counselor who has been divorced and barely on her second marriage nor would I listen to someone who hasn't even had one boyfriend that has lasted over five months. How come the people who have never been in relationships have the best advice on relationships?
because the still have the right ideals and standards,they havent had the chance to be sweet talked into stuff and so on. and haven't been confused by all the men that they met that have said and done different things .
i would say because instead of being in the relationships they are observing others and their relationships and they learn that way.
they learn what to do and not to do just by hearing what situations other couples are going through.
many people learn better by observing rather then experiencing. :)
Is easier to give advise than actually do things.. Like an old say '; easier say than done.'; when we are in the problem we dont see things the way the third person sees it.. Is always like that it doesn't matter how experience's you are.
Easy. They don't have the emotional involvement so they can look at it objectively.
they dont :S
I need some help with my relationship!!! Please advice anyone!?
My man is gone out of town for work for a month, I only get to talk to him every couple of days b/c of cell service. I am really having a tough time....I guess trusting. I feel like he doesn't miss me like I do, and this isn't even phasing him. Should I send him a text telling him I am worried or no??? What can I do please help:( We are 25 been together year and a half...I need some help with my relationship!!! Please advice anyone!?
He might be very busy working. Most jobs that take you out of town that long usually pay well and the work can be dangerous. I live in Alaska and many go away for 2 weeks to a month. Text him without complaining and just tell him you miss him and you have a nice surprise when he gets home. As far as the surprise goes, use your imagination because only you know what he likes. Have a girlfriend take a picture of you wearing something naughty and mail it to him so he knows what he is coming home to.I need some help with my relationship!!! Please advice anyone!?
Def dont send him a message telling him you have doubts. That will probably piss him off. I would just stop worrying so much. He is probably pre-occupied with work. He probably misses you and just dont have the time to tell you like he wants to.
If you're going to send a text message, send one that affirms your relationship. Let him know you're missing him and can't wait til he's home again.
Your insecurity is YOUR issue to deal with. Texting him with your worry will only alienate him and make him wonder what you're projecting onto him.
IF you trust him when he's in town, you have to trust him when he's out of town.
In the grand scheme of things, one month with minimal contact is a cake walk. (Think about what military wives go through!) Marriages survive because couples are able to work through the big issues and they don't waste time with little ones like this.
He'll be home in a month. Just keep busy, BREATHE, and know that he loves you.
You don't say whether your man is a husband or a boyfriend, but follow the advice about just sending him a short text saying you miss him. Then do something to occupy you. Invite some friends to go to dinner, a movie, bowling, or something else to get out. remember: ';If you love something set it free. If it comes back to you, it is yours. If not, then it never was';
If u really care u shuld let him knw ur worried and u dont wanna lose him so ya....
You think about negative things too much. That'll drive him away if you keep it up.
Nope, just text him and tell him you are thinking of him, and miss him. You don't want to come across as insecure or jealous, so trust him to be good. After all, boys will be boys!
Don't assume anything on his half. Do not be afraid to tell him your fears.Asure him of your feelings and see what kind of response you get. Good luck
He probably does miss you just as much but he might feel that he needs to be manly and not admit it.
Try to take your mind off of him being away. Use this time for you-time.
Have a girls night in or go out with girls. Have fun! Do the things he doesn't like you doing. Go out, get drunk, have a laugh.
Text him a wee hello if you are missing him and tell him your missing him because guys don't tend to tell girls how they are feeling without some kind of push. Gd luck x
He's spraying other women now.
He might be very busy working. Most jobs that take you out of town that long usually pay well and the work can be dangerous. I live in Alaska and many go away for 2 weeks to a month. Text him without complaining and just tell him you miss him and you have a nice surprise when he gets home. As far as the surprise goes, use your imagination because only you know what he likes. Have a girlfriend take a picture of you wearing something naughty and mail it to him so he knows what he is coming home to.I need some help with my relationship!!! Please advice anyone!?
Def dont send him a message telling him you have doubts. That will probably piss him off. I would just stop worrying so much. He is probably pre-occupied with work. He probably misses you and just dont have the time to tell you like he wants to.
If you're going to send a text message, send one that affirms your relationship. Let him know you're missing him and can't wait til he's home again.
Your insecurity is YOUR issue to deal with. Texting him with your worry will only alienate him and make him wonder what you're projecting onto him.
IF you trust him when he's in town, you have to trust him when he's out of town.
In the grand scheme of things, one month with minimal contact is a cake walk. (Think about what military wives go through!) Marriages survive because couples are able to work through the big issues and they don't waste time with little ones like this.
He'll be home in a month. Just keep busy, BREATHE, and know that he loves you.
You don't say whether your man is a husband or a boyfriend, but follow the advice about just sending him a short text saying you miss him. Then do something to occupy you. Invite some friends to go to dinner, a movie, bowling, or something else to get out. remember: ';If you love something set it free. If it comes back to you, it is yours. If not, then it never was';
If u really care u shuld let him knw ur worried and u dont wanna lose him so ya....
You think about negative things too much. That'll drive him away if you keep it up.
Nope, just text him and tell him you are thinking of him, and miss him. You don't want to come across as insecure or jealous, so trust him to be good. After all, boys will be boys!
Don't assume anything on his half. Do not be afraid to tell him your fears.Asure him of your feelings and see what kind of response you get. Good luck
He probably does miss you just as much but he might feel that he needs to be manly and not admit it.
Try to take your mind off of him being away. Use this time for you-time.
Have a girls night in or go out with girls. Have fun! Do the things he doesn't like you doing. Go out, get drunk, have a laugh.
Text him a wee hello if you are missing him and tell him your missing him because guys don't tend to tell girls how they are feeling without some kind of push. Gd luck x
He's spraying other women now.
Trashy girl trying to get in the middle of our relationship - need advice!?
We're in love, pregnant, and excited! She started contacting bf again, to be ';friends';. All over him first time I met her...he told her to fix things with me before he'll be her friend again! This is my response to her, too much?
I apologize, however I find it extremely difficult to trust or respect you. I know what your ';type'; is all about, as well as the measures you'll take to get what you want - however I am not afraid because I know who I am and what I stand for. I understand that you get attention through your choice in clothing, and your less than classy acts... unfortunately that doesn't get you very far in life. I'm above that - when people like me, I know that it's true and for all of the right reasons. I don't find it necessary to get attention by dry humping every guy I come in contact with, and pushing my boobs and bottom in their face. People who act like this come off as trashy, and I can guarantee that while they think they are ';sexy'; everyone is making fun of them behind their backs.....Trashy girl trying to get in the middle of our relationship - need advice!?
wow, you go! Thats awesome!Trashy girl trying to get in the middle of our relationship - need advice!?
try and talk to her and if that does not work. talk to your boy
friend and see if he going to do something about it. if not you
will have to go to the next thing.
It sounds great and you'll feel better to get all that off your chest but it shows how much effort you put into your response and that she forced you to go to all that trouble to put her down. Not to mention she might not have the mental capacity to fully appreciate your words. I would keep it short and sweet. Just say something like your boyfriend has been happy ever since she's been out of his life and there is nothing she could possibly offer him to make his life any better, you're taking care of things just fine.
From what i read you handled it really well. I wish i would have had the chance to confront my boyfriends ';friend'; the way you did. My boyfriend never gave me the chance, he's actually still friends with this person, regardless of what I say or how I feel. You've got a great guy, and you did well to get rid of that girl!!!!
I apologize, however I find it extremely difficult to trust or respect you. I know what your ';type'; is all about, as well as the measures you'll take to get what you want - however I am not afraid because I know who I am and what I stand for. I understand that you get attention through your choice in clothing, and your less than classy acts... unfortunately that doesn't get you very far in life. I'm above that - when people like me, I know that it's true and for all of the right reasons. I don't find it necessary to get attention by dry humping every guy I come in contact with, and pushing my boobs and bottom in their face. People who act like this come off as trashy, and I can guarantee that while they think they are ';sexy'; everyone is making fun of them behind their backs.....Trashy girl trying to get in the middle of our relationship - need advice!?
wow, you go! Thats awesome!Trashy girl trying to get in the middle of our relationship - need advice!?
try and talk to her and if that does not work. talk to your boy
friend and see if he going to do something about it. if not you
will have to go to the next thing.
It sounds great and you'll feel better to get all that off your chest but it shows how much effort you put into your response and that she forced you to go to all that trouble to put her down. Not to mention she might not have the mental capacity to fully appreciate your words. I would keep it short and sweet. Just say something like your boyfriend has been happy ever since she's been out of his life and there is nothing she could possibly offer him to make his life any better, you're taking care of things just fine.
From what i read you handled it really well. I wish i would have had the chance to confront my boyfriends ';friend'; the way you did. My boyfriend never gave me the chance, he's actually still friends with this person, regardless of what I say or how I feel. You've got a great guy, and you did well to get rid of that girl!!!!
Long-Distance Relationship (Almost) Advice?
My friend is in love with this guy who lives like 6 states away from us. She wouldn't tell him though, even though she was very obsessed. A few days ago i texted him, and it turns out he has a girlfriend. Any advice on what she should do now? She is kind of sad now because she still likes him.Long-Distance Relationship (Almost) Advice?
LDR'S are the worst to be involve in...it plays on the mind a lot causing...to much stress and emotional hang ups to deal with APART. ...its my opinion and advice to avoid it at all cost...enjoy!
yNOT?
LDR'S are the worst to be involve in...it plays on the mind a lot causing...to much stress and emotional hang ups to deal with APART. ...its my opinion and advice to avoid it at all cost...enjoy!
yNOT?
Need advice about relationship?
I have been hanging out with my friend of the opposite sex for a while and I have developed feeling towards her. I want to ask her out but I am afraid I might ruin the friendship. Any suggestions?Need advice about relationship?
You need figure out if she feels the same way towards you before you go and say something that could ruin your friendship . If she seems she feels the same way (through her actions and what not) then I would go for it but if she just seems like she is just being her typically friendly self I wouldnt.Need advice about relationship?
Easy answer,,, Find her in a good joking mood and just slide your lips close to her ear and say ';Hey wonderful,, want to play spin the bottle with me';??
It works every time,, well 40 years ago it did.
before you ask her out, try to find out how she sees you first... like if you think she's ready go to the next level on your friendship... start by making a joke out of it... like ask her: ';Hey, what if i ask you out, would you allow me to?'; whether she answers a YES or NO, just take it back like ';Hmmm..as if il take you out, huh?';... that would leave her hanging, but would give a little excitement deep in her...
but if she says YES, and if you feel bad taking what you said back, then surprise her with a romantic picnic candle lit dinner under the stars...
but just take it slow, just act as normal as possible the way you used to act around her as so she wont have to feel ackward being with you...you may go beyond your actions once you feel she's feeling the same way you're feeling too...
OMG i have problems like this all the time take it from a 13 year old girl. u need to get somewhere and talk to her in privet but not so that she feels ockwerd. Ask her out to a movie or something and explain to her how u feel and ask if she can give ur relationship a chance and if not can yall go back to being just friends. Not every thing works out all the time but if she is a nice girl she will want to give u a chance and if not them she might not no what she is missing out on
You need to chose between taking a chance and falling in love or taking a chance and ruining the friendship.
You best bet would be to be honest with yourself about what her potential feelings for you really are.
By simply asking this question I would bet she is not interested in you in that way and you are about to make a huge mistake.
You need figure out if she feels the same way towards you before you go and say something that could ruin your friendship . If she seems she feels the same way (through her actions and what not) then I would go for it but if she just seems like she is just being her typically friendly self I wouldnt.Need advice about relationship?
Easy answer,,, Find her in a good joking mood and just slide your lips close to her ear and say ';Hey wonderful,, want to play spin the bottle with me';??
It works every time,, well 40 years ago it did.
before you ask her out, try to find out how she sees you first... like if you think she's ready go to the next level on your friendship... start by making a joke out of it... like ask her: ';Hey, what if i ask you out, would you allow me to?'; whether she answers a YES or NO, just take it back like ';Hmmm..as if il take you out, huh?';... that would leave her hanging, but would give a little excitement deep in her...
but if she says YES, and if you feel bad taking what you said back, then surprise her with a romantic picnic candle lit dinner under the stars...
but just take it slow, just act as normal as possible the way you used to act around her as so she wont have to feel ackward being with you...you may go beyond your actions once you feel she's feeling the same way you're feeling too...
OMG i have problems like this all the time take it from a 13 year old girl. u need to get somewhere and talk to her in privet but not so that she feels ockwerd. Ask her out to a movie or something and explain to her how u feel and ask if she can give ur relationship a chance and if not can yall go back to being just friends. Not every thing works out all the time but if she is a nice girl she will want to give u a chance and if not them she might not no what she is missing out on
You need to chose between taking a chance and falling in love or taking a chance and ruining the friendship.
You best bet would be to be honest with yourself about what her potential feelings for you really are.
By simply asking this question I would bet she is not interested in you in that way and you are about to make a huge mistake.
I need advice about this relationship?
so my ex and i have been tlaking bout getting back together for a while, but in that time ive developed a small crush on a girl she really hates. i know id love to get back with my ex but if it doesnt work out should i date the other girl?I need advice about this relationship?
date whomever you wish...acne
date whomever you wish...
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