Guys/Girls - relationship confusion... advice/insight needed..?

This is kind of long but if you've got time to spare, please consider ...





I’m feeling rather lost, confused and perhaps a bit abused.





My boyfriend and I began hanging out back in the summer as friends and by about mid July we officially started ‘dating’. To fully explain my current predicament please read the following as they are bits of conversation he has said to me in the past which is now leading me to my confusion.





June 28 (so before we were actually going out)





i dont know what it is, i admire everything you do and everything you say


i think you’re the kind of person i need, you do all the same things i do, you have bad habits like i do yet, you’re not a bad influence on me, you don’t judge a thing i do, in the past few times we’ve hung out I’ve realized i think you’d be a great girlfriend





July 28





I’m so afraid of being ****** over again. Yes, i definitely have feelings for you as i wouldn’t go this far with someone i didn’t care a lot about. It’s just that what I’ve gone through... my hearts been crushed and i don’t know how to fix it and it’s really hard doing this again, I’m extremely afraid.





I’m just trying to go easy on myself right now because I really don’t want to get hurt again and i think it just takes me a long time to build a solid trust for someone. i really don’t even know myself anymore. i just want to be trusted i guess, and I’m afraid of being judged and made to feel not good enough. That’s what my ex did to me, she kind of ruined my life





i wouldn’t use you and i definitely wouldn’t want to hurt you, i think you’re a sweet, understanding, and a very down to earth one of a kind amazing person. I’m just retarded and don’t know how to have feelings for anyone anymore, well that’s the way it feels





well, I’m an emotional disaster and have been for going on a year now, i like being around you so much and talking to you because i feel like you’re helping me to recover from this hole I’m in. i assure you if i could just get myself back to... myself, well I’m sure i would be so much closer to you. I’d never want to leave you





your definitely one of a kind yet sometimes i feel like you’re a lot like me in some ways...kind of makes me happy that i like myself and am happy with myself because if i didn’t like myself...... i wouldn’t like you. if that makes any sense at all





just know that my feelings for you are real, i just don’t want to go to fast.


Sometimes i really feel like I’m falling for you and it scares me right now


As for now, i really like you a lot and i hope it doesn’t change





August 10





well I’m telling you I’m not looking for anything or anyone else, I’m content so far with you, all i can tell you is its going to be hard having a long term relationship that’s for sure


sometimes i feel like i more than ';like'; you to be honest


that’s kind of what I’m afraid of inside





(I will be moving off to school, hours away but we both agreed we’d like to try and make it work)





August 30





I’m going to miss you terribly – you mean a lot to me


i really feel you are the perfect person for me to be with and i can’t see myself leaving you because i don’t think anyone could match the great qualities you have. I’m going to try my best to be with you as long as i can, even if it turns out to be the rest of my life





September 8





if all goes well between the two of us and if we’re still going steady next year, i may consider coming to (the city I’m in) while you finish school and maybe i would be able to find work/school there.....that way we can eliminate the distance issue





and hey living under the same roof eliminates the middle man as well....in this case public transportation


well I’ve been in love twice before, and both times i guess i was just fooling myself, but i mean the true feeling is that, i was in love with (name of ex) and i thought she was the one for me, and before meeting you i was trying to get back with her and after getting to know you and starting to feel really into you it opened my eyes that i was really not supposed to be with her..... I’m skeptical of falling in love but it’s inevitable and definitely can’t be avoided when you find who seems to be the right person





September 10





There’s been many times where I’ve had you in my arms just cuddling and i thought to myself ';i love this girl'; i couldn’t just out right tell you i thought because i wouldn’t want to see your reaction...... fear of it i suppose





November 2





i really think i like you a lot, and i guess I’m a bit impatient with the fact that i want to get closer to you and see how you really are...and i definitely want to have more time to discover you as a person, and well that all takes time and I’m willing to take that time right now........if we really are a great couple, it will last, only time can tell that story





November 18





(I brought up the idea of him completing the last of his credits to achieve his grade twelve diploma.. kind of got defensiveGuys/Girls - relationship confusion... advice/insight needed..?
he isn't ready to commit emotionally to anyone. with time he will, but not right now.





are you willing to take the risk that you'll be the one he gives his heart to when he's ready?





he cares a lot about you no doubt but has admitted that he cannot give you the type of commited relationship you want.





my advice: start withdrawing yourself emotionally, that way you won't hurt so much if he decides he doesn't want to be with you.Guys/Girls - relationship confusion... advice/insight needed..?
too confusing,shorten the question next time.
This guy seems really confused about waht he wants in life... Like me he was hurt prettyl badly by one of his exs and is having trouble trusting and lettting himself love again. From the sounds of it he really likes you and may even lvoe you but the scars from the past are killing him. It keepes being thrown up in his face time after time again. Your going to have to give him some time to relax and not rush your relationship take it day by day and slow and everthing will be ok. he scared of being hurt agian and i understand where hes coming from. Just give it some time take it slow and everything will be fine. You have to understand where he is coming from and how he was hurt and then relize its gonna take some time but time will make your relationship stronger as he relizes that he really can trust you that he truley loves you and your the girl he wants to spend the rest of his life with. Good luck... everything will be ok and i'll keep you in my prayer... remember to take things slow with him if you try to rush things it might screw everything up...
I agree with your friend. Let him go... If he comes back he was yours all along. If he doesn't then it wasn't meant to be. He was being selfish by wanting you, but not wanting to commit fully.





I know how it is. I let someone go and it was the hardest thing for me to do, but he came back to me. He's left again, and if he does come back I don't know if I will take him, but I will at least know where his heart lies.
OMG I wish I had time to read this book. Please let me know when it is completely edited and published. Or, you can shorten and get answers. Aaaaaaaargh!
I think he is confused about what he wants. Maybe you should find some one who knows what they want and who are secure. You really don't want to end up with some one who is always questioning the relationship and who is this insecure. He may be a nice guy, but maybe when you move you can slowly start to drift from him and find some one else.
wooo..his playing game girl.ifi where u frank him..his saying u those words cz his uncertain about his feelings towards u..its bec. his from a relationship before and got hurt..its up to u to continue listen to his aliby...but if ur willing to wait forhim its ur choice but i think his not yetready...better frank him and said lets be friends. as of the moments and enjoy friendship first then when time comes if his redi then so be it..