Relationship issues here, need serious advice ?

I have a boyfriend and he is sweet and all, he's is most of the time negative about himself, Always down. H e doesn't have a job yet and he thinks that I am greater than him because I graduated from college, have a job and he has only 2 subjects left and jobless . I am always there for him but sometimes, I need his help the most and he becomes negative about himself again. I love him dearly and I know we can work things out but sometimes, it's really nerve wrecking.What should I do to him? Should I be still supportive?Relationship issues here, need serious advice ?
I know how frustrating it is, I had a girlfriend that was exactly the same way, and in retrospect, I'd advise you to stay with him -- abandonment will not improve his self-image, it'll only make him feel worse. It sounds like he's in a negative self-reinforcing cycle, focusing only on what he perceives to be the negative aspects of himself, which, when highlighted, only serve to reinforce their existence. To combat this, actively and frequently complement him on his abilities, and do and say things to and for him that make him feel wanted and needed. Be suggestive, but not demanding, in trying to get him to change his outlook in an attempt to break the cycle. Most importantly, however, would be to get him to seek counseling, as the hardest part of changing one's self is figuring out how to change, which is the function of the counselor. Anyway, good luck and stick with it.





Regards.Relationship issues here, need serious advice ?
It sounds like he has very low self esteem. Counselling would be a fantastic idea for him but hes gotta be willing to go. It also possible that he may need anti depressants. Counselling was great for me and thankfully no meds. I also found that positive affirmations helped. They make you feel a little silly telling yourself in the mirror that you are great and wonderful etc but it works! You are what you think... Also could try sticking little notes up in places he passes each day saying thinks like, I am smart, wonderful, can do anything etc. its all about reprogramming the sub-concious. The more you tell yourself something the more you believe it and the more truth comes of it as you start to live it. He just needs to take the negatives and make them positives. You say he is a great boyfriend and it doesn't sound like he degrades or abuses you so Id say stick by him. It wouldnt hurt to remind him from time to time of his good qualities and why you love him...give it time he will come good :-)
Look it not you or him i had this problem myself personally but some time you have to hear him out and listen to him dont listen to people tell you that you dont need him or he is worthless. The best thing you need to do is comfort him let him know that thing will look up and that he will get his due. also help him out let him know thing he can do try to make him feel importmant also hen he feels worthless tell him look baby i know you feel down about you self but i want you to know that you make me happy the way you are. Also say hey look there thing you can do to help him out try to help him find a job or try helping him educated himself.
I'd try to be supportive in a ';crutch to aid walking to the job centre sense'; rather than a ';there there, it'll all be ok because i love you no matter'; sense.





The only thing that's gonna make him feel better about himself is proving he's better than his failed education.





Don't make him feel worse, but tough love never hurt anyone, and it sounds to me that you need to kick him hard before u have no hair left to tear out. x
no, you shouldn't because your supportive character has encouraged him to keep on going over the same fact over and over again, you need to tell him to stop cause that's not the way. And if he's not threaten him that you will leave him if he doesn't see life more positively... or just take him to counseling or something :p
be there for him as u do now, to me sounds like you are doing your best, is really hard for a guy to be in that situation...but he can get a temporarty job for the moment so he doesnt feel useless...if he really wants to work I dont see where is the problem..u dont need a college degree to get a job..or he can do some house work and help u out a bit..give him little tasks that will make him feel usuful..





good luck
yes still be suppostive. my boyfriend was like this just becasue i got a job before him and im younger. he suddently started hating himself saying his life is a waste of time ect ... they just need comforting and reasurance rearly just keep teeling him you love him and that your always going to be there to help.








all the best. xxx
Hey everyone needs some support sometime, thats why you have friends.





You should tell him what you think though.





Suggest that his negative thoughts get you down, there are a lot of people out there doing worse then he is.












If you're going to continue to enable this guy, by always being there to pick up him up every time he decides he wants to fall down, then be prepared for a life of disappointment. You don't need that. Seemingly, every time you need some moral support from him, he turns it around and then it's all about him again.


If you love him, and want to work things out with him, then you're going to have to develop a mean streak with him. Next time he wants to take a fall, instead of helping him up, give him a kick in the *** by making him realize that he's not the only one that may have problems. There are times that you need to deal with a few things and you need constructive and supportive input from him, not more of his weight on your shoulders. If he can't give it to you, then the best thing he can do is shut up and leave you alone.


If it has gotten to where your nerves are getting frayed, then it's time to reconsider your relationship. People have to move forward, and need people who are willing to move forward with them. This guy doesn't have a job, or even finished college. He doesn't seem to have any ambition or drive. He's holding you back with his outlook on life, his personal shortcomings, and general all round negative attitude.