Threesome / Trinogomy /polyfidelity / polyamory relationship advice or help!?

I am a mid 20's female...I have been in a relationship with my girlfriend for 6 and 1/2 years. We have a great relationship and I love her with my heart and soul. With all the reasonable expectations that there will be rough times, we have managed to work through all of the problems, or, are still on the road to fixing what needs fixing. We are both dedicated to one another, and communicate for the most part very well with each other, we are inseparable. About a year and couple months or so ago we met another woman and from then on we both decided to bring her into our relationship. The relationship is not strictly sexually based, and has a strong emotional undertone.


My girlfriend is now having doubts about the relationship, questioning whether or not this is right for her, and feeling stressed out often regarding the relationship. She sees my and the relationship with the other female as so much better. I am not wanting this to end as I am in love with both. what do i do?Threesome / Trinogomy /polyfidelity / polyamory relationship advice or help!?
Your posting reads as though both are wanting something different. From your posting it reads as though you want to maintain this menage de trios while your girlfriend of 6.5 years is having her doubts about it. As an outsider reading your posting it reads as though your girlfriend of 6.5 years is not closed to the idea of having a poly / menage de trios relationship and the issue seems to resided strictly with this person. After reading your posting I am wondering if jealousy might be an issue here and it maybe something she needs to work through by herself. Maybe the issue lies in fact your girlfriend of 6.5 years feels as though you are giving the invited person more attention than her.





The above are just ideas of what may be going on here. Having a poly / menage de trois type of relationship requires allot of work and communication. In any event my advice would be to talk to her about it. Let her know how happy this set up is making you but at the same time listen to what she has to say before reaching any conclusions. Only by communicating and negotiating will the two of you decide what is your best interest, as a long-term couple.





I wish you the best and hope it works out for you.Threesome / Trinogomy /polyfidelity / polyamory relationship advice or help!?
Well unfortunately, relationships are easier when they only consist of 2 people and you cant have both and they both cant have you, you need to choose or your going to loose your girlfriend, she doesn't want to share you anymore, shes competing with another women, and she doesn't want to anymore, you have to make a choice good luck
Show your true love more attention and stop thinking of yourself so Much.


But trust me, long term threesomes seldom last without someone getting hurt. Good luck to you all its nice to hear of people breaking the mould`s of convention.
take a look at www.polyamoryweekly.com
This is the reason why Monogamy is ideal. You cannot have your cake and eat it too. I don't care what society says, or the media. It will never work. There are always going to be emotional issues, whether it be jealousy, hatred, annoyance, whatever. Actually, the fact that it has a strong emotional undertone makes it worse. Sexual relationships are easy. It's just physical. With emotions it's alot more complicated. I would suggest that you leave everyone alone and find yourself by yourself.
You think maintaining a relationship with two people is hard work, imagine it with two. You're living it, you know this. And you both should've known what it could entail. There are very few relationships which have more than two partners that are successful. The odds, no pun intended, are working against you. There is alot of emotional baggage that needs constant maintenance from all parties involved.





You have two options, you can let go of the third woman if you truly value your relationship with your partner. Or you can have a talk with both of them and see where they are at. Most times when there is doubt, it means one or both parties are not on the same page as the other.


My true advise, these threesomes/foursomes have a way of damaging an existing relationship (your partner) and severing it for good. You need to get your priorities in order and do what is best for you and if that includes your partner, what is best for her and the two of you together.


Best of luck.