I just left a 3 year abusive relationship today. Any advice, im feeling kinda wea here.?

The hardest thing i ever had to do, ive done it. My family helped me pack up all my stuff, there was alot, and i moved the heck out of there. I feel very sad and know im doing the right thing. But is there any encouragement from anyone? I need some advice on how to stay strong.I just left a 3 year abusive relationship today. Any advice, im feeling kinda wea here.?
at first u will question it, because once away from it u will begin to think maybe it wasn't all that bad especially if u loved him allot. but u made the right choice to get out of it before it got any worse. what u should do is get in a therapy group where there will be others like yourself who have already been through this they will be your encouragement. when he calls u and he will, just realize that abusers hardly ever change without some kind of intervention. and now the worst of it is over with, u just have to work on your self esteem because when u get abused it will tear down your self esteem, all kinds of thoughts will go through your head, u may second guess yourself, wonder if u should go back and give it one more chance, but don't.I just left a 3 year abusive relationship today. Any advice, im feeling kinda wea here.?
It sounds like you have a good support system with your family, That will help a lot, If you have a religous faith that will help enormously. You will find that most of your fears about being alone are unfounded. You will be amazed at how strong you are and before long you will be proud of yourself for letting go of a relationship that did not serve you well. If you think you are in danger take any precautions neccessary. Congratulations on empowering yourself! God has great plans for you .
Moving out of any relationship is hard, there are always those 'feelings' that kind of haunt you about having done the right thing. But you have, it's hard to be in an abusive relationship and keep your wits about you, your self esteem is under constant attack. But give yourself a few months and you will come to feel better about it and yourself. Don't hurry into any new relationship or the old one will be dragged along into it. Stay strong and you know that there is a whole world of us out here who are concerned about you. I'm glad that you were one that did make it out.
Make a list of everything that he did right.


Make a list of everything that he did wrong.


Throw both lists out the window, because it was an abusive relationship.


It wasn't your fault. You're the victim. You should probably try to keep as much of a normal life as possible, and think about going through counseling, or try getting more involved in activities around your community/church. That way you can move on. Because if you dwell on the past then you can never move forward. Also, let everyone know how big of a scum bag he is for doing that. And, just take it step by step. ';Yard by yard, life is hard. Inch by inch, life's a cinch';
You have done a very brave thing - unfortuneately trying to stay strong is hard for the first few months, especially if the partner comes to you promising to ';change';.





The important thing to do to keep yourself strong is to have good plans in place (eg What are you going to do if he does show up?) and surround yourself with supportive family and friends.
Con-grads, Go to work, focus on your future. Go out with friends. Get involve with anything and everything to keep your mind off of him. He will not change, he will get worse. He will tell you anything to make you think that he's changed and get you back. He will eventually, get mad and make you think ( if he hasn't already ) that no one will have you and all the insults he can come up with. Have you a good cry. And please move on.
I found writing in a journal was very helpful and writing here on YA when I needed an outside perspective or strength...





In my journal, I would write down times that he abused me... each time a different event... and in my ';weak'; moments, I would pull it out and remember exactly why I left... as I became stronger, it became a journal of strength and hope... my accomplishments and my dreams..





Here on YA, well, it really helped to write asking for support when I needed it, or helping others.. or just laughing at some of the freaky q's on here.. and then I made some good friends...





you're doing the right thing.. it's hard but it gets better.. you've taken a huge step toward a better life... now just breath and enjoy being safe... happiness will come.
hun im a man that is lone some all the time im loving and sweet i been a lone my whole life being rejected by weman and im not bad looking just i cant talk good best thing would to take time pain hurts it doesnt heal in moments but dont let your self down every thing will happen in time im sorry to hear your situation but dont be afraid or in lost or confused just learn from it to not make the miss take agian weman are strong mently and emotionaly if they control there feelings learn of them use them and in time you will find the right one and when you do you will be so much happyer keep your gard up but dont shut the door god has ways of us seeing hate darkness sadness in are lives so when we do see the light it will shine all so much brighter hugs and love have a wounderful day
Where are you staying? I trust that it is a safe place. Lean on family for the emotional support that you need. He is going to try to sweet talk you into coming back. He will tell you how sorry he is and that it will never happen again. He will promise almost anything to get you to come back. If you give in and go back it will start all over again and it will be harder to leave the next time. I know what I am talking about as I have been in your position. Do not go back no matter what he says. I know how you feel and I know how hard it is but believe me there is happiness in your future with out him. You need some time to heal. Spend time with family and friends and do not go places alone. Do not agree to meet your abuser alone for any reason. Here is a web site you may find useful.


http://d21c.com/amiani/TarasDedication.h鈥?/a>


Good luck to you and congratulations for taking the big step.
I have been in your exact situation. My relationship lasted for 4 years, though, and we had a child. I left him when my son was 2 months old because I didn't want my son to be raised around him. He was SOOO abusive! There were even a couple of times that he was threatening to kill me, while grabbing a knife, and I managed to escape with NO CLOTHES on because he ripped them all up. I ran out the door, screaming for help and got it from HIS PARENTS who drove me home, wrapped in a f**king blanket.





Let me tell you.. TAKE MY WORD.. These guys DO NOT CHANGE. Do NOT FEEL SORRY FOR HIM FOR ANYTHING OR FEEL SAD THAT HE IS THE WAY HE IS. Just accept it and accept that this is NOT how you want to live your life...





I am now married to the most AMAZING man!! He adopted my first son, and he has never even told me what to do..EVER.. I am ME. I am free to be me, and I have never been so damn happy in my entire life.





This hard decision you have made will not only save your life but allow you to live and be yourself and find true happiness without feeling obligated to try and ';help'; some guy that is depriving you of your one and only life... Seriously.. You'll find a nice guy next time and love it...





It's time to think of your future and move ahead.. Live for YOU, not for him.. You WILL NOT REGRET IT! Congrats on your upcoming happy, free life.. Enjoy it! You only live once.
Nothing can heal a broken relationship but time. You did the right thing, you will eventually get over it and look back and wonder why you stayed as long as you did. Just be patient. Hopefully one day you meet someone who loves you and cares about you.
i just left a abusive relationship and i know how hard it is. just think bout what makes u happy and being around positive people. I miss her everyday but its for the best and alot safer for me, keep ur chin up.
congrats on that! you left before the police took you out in a bodybag. don't go back. people like that dont change and even if he does, do you want to put your life at risk like that. dont take that chance. LACE YOUR BOOTS AND RUN WITHOUT LOOKING BACK!!!
You did what was best for you. And today you took a stand so you should be proud of yourself. You are no longer someone's punching bag and for that I applaud you. You are on the road to actually loving yourself for once!
The best thing is having your family around. It's hard believe me I went through it with my ex-wife. You have to take it one step at a time, but you need your family to talk to.
You stay strong forever. Get some counseling and get into a support group. Keep busy and know you are doing the right thing. That was never love.
You just did the hard part. Enjoy...........